The Toy Isle

May 27. Today I worked until noon. Had lunch and then went to Sex and the City 2. The theater was not very nice, I still have yet to be in a theater with good seats. The movie was good. To be honest it was exactly what is was expecting, but not at all what I had expected. If that makes any sense. The quotes were not as good as I am used to. The costumes were good, not as many repeat offenders as in the first, but I did see a repeat dress that I was very disappointed in. Patricia Field has a entire world of couture to use, and she re-used a dress from the series? Just didn't make sense. After the movie I came home and watched some television and tried to rest up. Tomorrow I want to go to the MoMA, Barney's, Grand Central and Prince of Persia. Maybe even Time Square. Today I got to finally talk to a dear friend. While discussing basically everything. We mentioned futures, careers and paths. While I told her about me possibly applying for a promotion at work and how a manager asked me what I would like to do and I responded with "not sure". The manager told me I should figure that out before I talk to the store manager. And in my mind that was the whole point of me talking to the store manager, I don't know of all of the options. So how am I to pick? My said friend has started a new job recently that she originally thought she would not like in the least, but today she said that she doesn't know if she likes it. But what she does know is that she likes the fact that she is doing something different. While I have ideas spewing out of mind, uncertainty still consumes me. I have a little more than a month left for sure. And while that seems like plenty of time, and a few months ago seemed like a year, I know need it to slow down so I can just figure everything out. Yet unfortunately that is not an option. So I will bite the bullet, suck it up and take the bull by the horns and handle this shit. Do everything I can to have the most options to select from and then go from there. In The September Issue Anna Wintour is asked what she thinks is her best quality. Her answer. Decisiveness. Clearly that is not mine. I am actually still deciding. When I was younger I actually remember being in the toy isles of Target being asked to pick a toy. Well I remember not being able to decide. I considered both toys very carefully. This contemplation took way too long according to my sister and mom. My mom started counting down. Well the pressure was on. I made a rash decision and went with a toy. Today I have no idea what the toy was, or what the competitor toy was. All I remember is the contemplation. This next big decision in my life is the toy isle all over again. I think. In reality the decision has so much build up that my actual choice may not matter at all. Hell I can change my mind. I can change my location. I can change anything I want to. All this build up, and I end up with a revelation. While I am fairly certain, knowing me, that this revelation will help me feel no less at ease, I can say that I at least realized it. And while decisiveness is not my greatest strength, I know I have a strength that will be far more useful in my near future. So until then let the uncertainty ride and the opportunities come. I am ready.